Wednesday, August 10, 2011

225 Million Big Ones

225 Million. Dollars. Big Ones. Buckaroos.

That's the lottery tonight. Holy Cow. Do you know what I could do with 225 million dollars!? Well funny that you asked because I think about winning the lottery EVERY STINKIN DAY!

So, let me tell you what I would spend my winnings on :)

1. Student Loans. Did any of you think I would pay for anything else first? I complain about them more than I complain about the price of gas, the idiots I work with, and the price of tea in China. So right away, I'll knock out that 40k. Take that Federal Government! I'll probably pay for my sister's loans too. Maybe my brother's also, but he really has to suck up to me.  Lately Patty Cakes has been a disgusting puke to me (and I even gave him my sweet blue chair for his dorm, rude!)

2. My parent's house and any debt they have. My parents are amazing. All throughout my childhood both my mom and dad worked at least two jobs to take care of Erin, Pat and myself. Seriously, they gave us anything. We all participated in club sports, spent entire weekends in hotels and gyms, and they did it all knowing they would do even more for us if we asked. I seriously feel so blessed to have Karl with a K and Mary Linda for parents. And now, I think they're even cooler. I mean my mom loves drinking bloody mary's with me now and my dad loves gardening. They're awesome! And they don't need to worry about money anymore. They've worried long enough. Side note: my dad wants to go back to school to be a physical therapy assistant. If he does, I'd pay for that too. But only if he still wanted to. I mean naturally I'm going to give my parents an allowance so they won't ever have to work again unless they choose too. They could just retire and do retirement things. Like golf and read Martha Stewart magazine (that's a joke, Mary Linda hates Martha).

3. Pay for a better library at SMSU, and a new curtain in the gym. Ok spending 4.5 years at a school I realized some improvements could be made. Such as a waaaaayyyyy bigger library (reading books makes you smarter people). I'd also put a curtain in the RA facility. See it's hard to focus at basketball practice when softball is screwing around on the south end of the gym, baseball is fondling one another at the other end and wrestling is giving piggy back rides to one another around the track (i mean that in itself is distracting!). I'd probably also give a huge chunk of change to Kelly Loft, the best Sports Information Director in the world who taught me everything I know, and an even bigger chunk to all the women's athletic teams. Let's face it girls, we still get the shaft (that's what she said).

4. Play Monopoly. Buy up a bunch a land baby!!! Then put houses and hotels on it and charge people a $100 rent like on Park Place. That's a joke there, I'd charge $200. Ok seriously thought, I'd buy land everywhere I could. Specifically Sodak, Montana, Iowa and Scotland. Yes, Scotland. I want to have my own home overseas where I can just hop on a jumbo jet and get away from everything. The other three are just so farmers can rent the land from me. Ok secretly I want my old roommate to farm the land for me, and then I'd be the boss and he'd have to listen to me. Muahhahaha. :)

5. Donate to lots of charities. These days, everyone needs money. And I truthfully don't think I should be the only one to benefit from my hypothetical winnings. So I'll give a bunch to Susan G. Komen in honor of one of the most amazing women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, Margie Thiel McDermott, some to Livestrong, some to SmileTrain, and probably some to whomever asks. Remember this people, YOU ONLY GET WHAT YOU GIVE. Sharing means caring.

Ok that's about all I have to say about winning the lottery. Fingers crossed it happens.

Oh p.s. it's my old roommates birthday on Friday. Happy Birthday ya big hairy sexy beast. May all your dreams come true or something.


Grandma Milly: I'm sorry you've had eye problems lately. I hope you feel better soon!

Megan Betz: Hurry up and move here already.

Woman Security Guard at PC: I love how tough and manly you look, but I love it even more when I catch you smoking a cig in your convertible and reading Cosmo.

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