Green Thumbin'

I need to update you all on something in my life that is half tragic and half a blessing. I'll call it, The Death of My Garden.

Some of you may know I worked for an elderly couple, George and Jane Korver,  while I lived in Marshall. I mowed six acres of lawn, scooped algae off the pond with rake, became pretty swift with a weed whacker and tended the biggest most beautiful garden in the world. All those tasks were grand, however the best thing about the job was hands down that garden. George grew everything: corn, snow peas, yellow potatoes, red potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, lettuce, red onions, yellow onions, summer squash, pumpkins, watermelon, cantelope, garlic, asparagus...you name it he grew it. It was awesome. I always had fresh vegetables, canned pickles, homemade sauces, salsas...the list goes on and on.

Anyway, the Korver's lit a fuse in me and ignited my love for gardening. So when Michael T. started living at Grandma's with all that potential growing space I got realllll pumped. I asked Grandma Agnes if I could have a garden and she got real excited too I think.

So, I began planning, and planting. I bought these little seed tray greenhouse thingers that you put a seed in then put the plastic cover on and then they grow before you put them in the ground. They are honestly necessary if you try and plant a garden up in these parts. We had snow til April this year so you can imagine the soil temp. Poor little seedlings can't wear gloves or coats so they freeze to death. At first I kept the seed trays at home and would come home at lunch and stare at them hoping they'd gotten bigger. The lighting in my apartment blows a little bit, so I made an executive decision and brought them to my office where they grew and grew and grew. I had tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, green beans and morning glories all greenifying my office.


One day Michael and Mick and Sandy went to town doing some yardwork and Michael plowed up a small space for me to have a garden. It looked great! My garden was taking shape, hot dog! The next day I transplanted my office buddy seedlings along with potatoes  and onions, into my garden. At first nothing grew but weeds, but when I came back a few weeks later, BAM! We were in growing business!! I had a few challenges dealing with Michael's pets (those darn deer) so we (Mick and I) put up a redneck fence that only covered 5/8s of the garden. We used some corral gates on the other 3/8, that's why it was redneck. I also told Mick he could pee on the garden whenever he liked (Michael's pets don't like human peepee).


So yeah, the garden was awesome. Completely full of weeds, but still awesome.  That was...until one fateful day, something very tragic happened. A man came to beautify Grandma's yard by chopping down all the trees around the quanset and the garage. It was close quarters and my garden is right behind the garage, and would really benefit from less keeping the warm sun out. So Mr. Man is back there doing "get-trees-out-of the ground" things when suddenly, he gets his Bobcat stuck in mud big time. He was surrounded on all sides by quanset, garage, and more trees. He had no where to turn. Exceppptttt......

(you guessed it, right through the garden).

Can you please take a moment of silence for my cucumbers, green beans, tomatoes, red and yellow potatoes, peppers and onions.


Luckily, I had planted some seeds in buckets on the deck. When I planted the seeds I thought they were tomatoes and peppers. Only peppers. At least I have something growing. Anyone wanna make pepper-flavored vodka with me?

And all is not lost. Next year, I'll have much more sunlight for my little plantings, and this time next year I'll have an abundance of veggies. I'll probably share with people who are really nice to me and give me nice things like a new rifle or cowboy boots or hunting gear (that's you, Michael). I also take cash, check or visa.

Shoutouts:
EJo: Good luck at school, I'm glad you got to go back to school shopping.
Megan B.: Hurry up and move here already. I'm DVRing Kim Kardashian's wedding for you tonight so we can watch it sunday.
Tibs: I've really gotten a crap ton of compliments on my haircut. I think you're hired for life.
Anyone who wants to become a Saints Booster Club member: Call me. 605-229-8378.