I think Billy Joel was kinda wrong, especially when it comes to the case of my grandparents, Bob and Milly Feeney. Those crazy kids are tied and true saints if I’ve ever met any. But you know what? They’re nowhere near young. I wanna say Bob and Milly are about 85, give or take a year or two, and they are two of my favorite people in the entire world. Here are a few reasons why: a) they are my grandma and grandpa so naturally they have to spoil me and tell me I’m great at everything and they are just so proud of me blah blah blah, b) they are hilarious! For example, when I got my gun for my birthday I called Bob and Milly and Bob just laughed and laughed and laughed, but Milly got on the phone and said, “Oh dear, I’ll pray for you.” Or when my Great-Uncle Bill passed away a few years ago, Bob and Milly had all the family and friends over after the wake. At one point when everyone was talking and laughing and enjoying each others’ company, Grandma Milly leaned over to my Aunt JoJo and said “I don’t think these people are too sad.” Grandma Milly has such a dry sense of humor you have to be real quick to catch it. Another time was when we came to visit and Bob had been shooting squirrels that climbed on the deck and on the bird feeders. One came up and he was gonna shoot it when Milly screamed, "Damnit Bob, I told you to put that gun away!" Those two, they're perfect for each other.
And finally c) Bob and Milly are the coolest people in the world because they don’t act old. When I was on my to Gettysburg for Sandy’s birthday celebration (and fire at Bosch’s, get-together at Lucy’s, and getting stuck in town at Quiett’s for just my third blizzard of my life) I called Bob and Milly to catch up on what was new. Grandpa said that it was going to be a pretty quiet weekend, but yesterday they had some adventures. Grandpa had a big coin show to go to in Dubuque, “It’s a pretty big one, people from Minneapolis and Omaha and all over come to it.” And Grandma had to go to “work”, which really isn’t work, but Grandma goes to the riverboat casino every Sunday to play keno. More often than not she wins at least $500 dollars which then gets put in her “fun money” fund. So it kinda is work, because she’s earning money to have fun with us Weasley-family, look-alike grandkids. I appreciate her work, and I’m following in her footsteps as I refuse to play anything but Keno on video lottery.
Here are a few more examples of how my grandma and grandpa refuse to act old:
-Bob volunteers as a tour guide at the aquarium in Dubuque. A few days a week, he gives elementary school kids and senior citizen tours of all the cool animals and fish and alligators and stuff at the aquarium.
-Until Bob was about 75, he did RAGBRAI, which, for those of you who don’t know, is a week-long bike excursion from the western boarder of Iowa to the eastern boarder of Iowa (I know people my age can’t even do that)
-Bob and Milly still drive west every year for Easter. They usually go to New Mexico and Arizona and California, and drive the entire way, all by themselves. I’m sure they listen to Danny O’Donnell in their big white Cadillac too.
So maybe in a way, Billy Joel was right that only the good die young. But “young” can be defined as how you act. Bob and Milly are still alive and kicking in their mid-eighties. And they act as young as me and my friends. Rock on Bob and Milly!
Tim and Michelle Evans: They just found out they are going to be the proud parents of a baby boy AND baby girl! Congratulations, guys, I’m really happy for you!
My brother Patrick: Sorry I sent you a plant on Valentine’s Day saying “Happy Valentine’s Day, enjoy being single, love, aimee.” It wasn’t meant to be mean, and meant in good fun. Can we be friends again yet?
Erin Jo: Congrats on the wins in ‘Bama. Thanks for the picture of the poisoned trees. Next time remember the SPF. Go Duggies!
My gay husband Ben: Sorry about those mean people at State Forensics. SMSU Forensicators are number one in my book!
Mom and Dad: Hi guys, I miss you.